I don’t have children, but omg, I love my girls. Deep sea-creatures in the ocean of my heart, daughters from another world.
I never wanted to have kids. The truth didn’t make me feel like a freak of nature, guilty or a lesser human being, but the question pounded in my chest every time I saw a tiny babe: what to do with all this love?
Brenda, pick her up. When Ashley rocketed into the world, I will never forget her Mom’s knowing smile as she handed me her gloriously intense first-born. She knew way before I did what would happen when I opened my arms.
Within three years of my Ashley’s trailblazing debut, I flew on wings to the hospital two more times, where the most amazing thing happened: two more glittery girls were born! It felt like the Christmas I had always longed for, but as a Jew, could never really own.
My girls remind me how good it is to be alive. There is little I love more than to watch them grow. They tell me anything they want to share, I tell them everything I know.
Through the years, I have had the outrageous fortune to have a posse of extraordinary, young women walk through my door. Carmen, Laurence, Karen, Lily, Marine, Hallie, Teresa, Alayna, Marissa, Nina, Mika, Kesia, et al. There is always room in my heart for more.
*Special thanks to Kathy and Benjy: even though you moved your family to Virginia years ago, you always will be the best possible parents for your daughters, my girls.
**Special thanks to Sara Lomas for arting up my photo (the first, above) and bringing this middle child to greater heights.
FAN THE FLAMES: Feel your heart.
GOOD NEWS FLASH: Summer is still on, enjoy! Listen to John Z, the happy father of 4 (3 girls, you scored!) and the always game owner of the café where I write. He just did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and when it was over, he turned to me, shivering, laughing, and said, Brenda, I love my life.
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