Brushstroke

It was New Year’s Eve, late 1980’s, at the tarted-up Diplomat Hotel in Hollywood, Florida. I slipped inside a glittering ballroom; bushy-browed and sensitive, head-to-toe in black, searching for a shadowy perch where I could observe the action from the back.

The joint was on fire. There was no place to hide. I sat on a bar stool in the corner, watched and felt it all– the big hair, shiny skin, lonely hearts and a throbbing beat, thrashing on the dance floor. Waves and waves of wanton need.

Time slows down, under the strobing light.

I’d been tee-totalling scotch and fielding offers all night at the boozy trough, when I lifted a fresh cigarette to my lips and a blue-eyed, curly-blonde guy from Jersey murmured, hey you, in my ear and offered me a light. The flame of his lighter blew like a torch, we laughed and shared our first joke. Though he wasn’t my type, when he said, so gently, my name is Pauly, my lips parted and I told him mine. His smile was crooked and I was charmed.

I learned a lot about Pauly that night: he sold stuff for a living out of the trunk of his car, his life was inked in colour on his arms,  his soul was touched by my open mind and open heart. When I told him I write and that my field of study was love, he kissed my cheek gratefully and whispered, I never met no one like you before.

The new year exploded with a chorus of screams. The party peak. Open, broken hearts; pounding, salty heat.

We looked at each other, and I said, let’s go upstairs.

His room looked out over the Atlantic, we stood in our skin, under the moon. I remember the tenderness of his lips, not the sex, and his black satin bathrobe with the mad dragon that made me giggle.

Later, Pauly seemed emotional, upset. He sat in the corner by the window and left me alone in the king-sized bed. He said he had a question for me. I had no idea what that meant. He tightened the sash around his waist, and asked, in a hushed voice, if I had ever killed anyone.

I lit a cigarette and so did he. The moon diffused in swirling smoke. I quickly understood that if I answered, I’d have to ask him back. My mouth opened and the question fell out. I couldn’t help myself, I had to know.

I never told no one before, he said.

Pauly pushed open the window, and the ocean roared. He said that his young cousin, a bright, young Jersey girl, was walking home from school one day, when someone grabbed her from behind and dragged her into a car. A teenage boy brutalized, raped, then murdered her, and put an end to her life.

His answer shocked me to my core.

I held myself tightly, but was not afraid.

Everyone in their town knew the kid who did it and believed he would be thrown in jail, but he was 17, underage and his mother gave him an alibi. When Pauly realized that his cousin’s rapist and killer was going free, he went to the store and he bought a gun.

The waves crashed around us, flooding the room. We cried together and held on for dear life. Pauly looked deep into my eyes, but he didn’t drown.

Rafe Martin %22moon among clouds%22

Moon Painting, courtesy of the artist, Rafe Martin. 

Names and places have been changed.

*

FAN THE FLAMES: Help support the telling of my stories…

Donate Button

Now, thrill me and visit our spanking-new GIFTS PAGE: the home of all the art & merchandise we have to offer in exchange for your heart-growing donations. One click right here.

*

GOOD NEWS FLASH: The gush of allegations against Jian Ghomesi and Bill Cosby is opening up a vital, new dialogue about the historically ignored and hidden truth of sexual violence against women and some men in our world, and as hard as it is to face, it is about time. Keep talking, people. We need to acknowledge and empower the victims, prosecute the abusers, educate ourselves and our children, and create a new paradigm for respect and love.

Check out: #FergusonNext: 5 Paths to Progress, after Non-Indictment and think about how we can unlearn racism and help change the world.

Tali’s unforgettable story Love & Squalor in the Middle East, Part 1 has been re-titled and published in the Huffington Post, right here!

*

Click FOLLOW THIS BLOG VIA EMAIL and join the party. Don’t forget to send back the confirmation email you’ll receive. For an almost daily fix, click BURNS THE FIRE on Twitter and LIKE BURNS THE FIRE on Facebook.

Please COMMENT, QUESTION, DANCE and SHARE.