A gluttonous reader in the pre-pubescent set, I knew romance, but I didn’t know hookers, and the deeply penetrating gaze of the courtesan in question clearly advised me that this candy-covered publication was not the fantasy of a child. I am not ashamed to say that I promptly stole the book and took the plunge, savage with curiosity, ravenous to explore the adult world and discover absolutely everything I didn’t know. I found it and then some, in the dry, heaving pages of this and every book I have ever gobbled.
I tore through the first chapter on a toilet. It was a dizzying odyssey, awash in a circus of non-denominational COD* sex and business acumen. As she explored her burgeoning talent and tanned her slinky, soon-to-be enterprising body by the soaking wet pool, the tri-sexual Madam X blew my mind, pardon the pun, by sharing the great mystery with her neighbor’s happily consenting dog.
My parents didn’t always know what I was reading, but thankfully, never censored me as long as I read. True to the power of the written word, I swallow books whole, and after I read them, am never quite the same.
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