Michael Goyer dropped dead one year ago today. In front of his wife, my dearest friend Naomi. In a bed set up in their sun-lit living room, recovering from an accident that smashed his elbow and knee. Mike’s life was ripped from his body by a homicidal blood clot and he fought until his heart shut him down. Hours before, Naomi had wrote me he was in bliss. He could not have been more grateful or more alive.
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Mistakes were made while Mike was in hospital, human mistakes that caused his death. Under this duress, Naomi has spent insane amounts of time and energy trying to force the hospital people to get their act together, so that no one has to die again because staff fucked up this way. Despite all the evidence, these people can’t apologize; admit that they’re wrong and deal with the consequences. Naomi doesn’t care. She means business, she wants change.
Mike didn’t have a funeral. He didn’t like fanfare and couldn’t stand near an open grave. Last weekend, almost a year after he died, his beautiful, shell-shocked children organized a memorial. Listening to them pay love-drenched tribute to their prize-winning Dad, I remembered when Mike told me his biggest dream was to have kids.
On the morning of the memorial, Naomi and I hung out at an Ontario beach. Divers rose out of the cold water, creatures out of the deep. She told me about a book she had just read by a woman who had been run over by a truck. The woman’s brain swelled so badly, the surgeons had to slice off part of her skull so it had room to heal.
Lying beside me on the sand, Naomi touched her chest and drew a large incision. When Mike died, her heart split open. It made even more room for love.
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I invite you to read more about Naomi and Mike: Life or Death, 1 and Life or Death, 2.
Special thanks to Liese Rose-Goyer.
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Fan the flames of my heart.
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GOOD NEWS FLASH: The raging dialogue around Miley Cyrus’s creative choice (or not) at the VMA’s is vital if we want to be free. Check out Sinéad O’Connor’s letter to Cyrus and Amanda Palmer’s letter to Sinead. Women, feel the power!
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14 Responses to Life or Death, 3: Top of the World
The same situation happened to my husband’s uncle. He went in for a routine surgery and – just a few preventable mistakes later – he died from a blood clot. I am so proud of your friend for fighting at a time when the pain is the only thing some people would be able to process.
On a very different note, given that we all have to go, this sounds like an option I would choose (if I could not choose more time with my amazing partner): “Hours before, Naomi had told me he was in bliss. He could not have been more grateful or more alive.”
Thanks again for the lives you share.
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Thanks for your words, Jennie. The night Mike died, Naomi kept saying, ‘he was so happy. It was a comfort then and still is now. She is a dazzler.
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Powerful writing, Brenda. Beautiful and utterly heart wrenching.
Gratitude means so much, is so much.
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Thank you, Karen.
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[…] For Life or Death, 3: Top of the World click here. […]
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Life can change so fast! I can’t believe that the hospital didn’t own up to it. I admire Naomi’s strngth and attitude too. I would have been mad and bitter with grief.
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Thanks for your comment, MuMu. It’s hard to explain how Naomi has avoided bitterness. I have never felt self-pity from her either. This might be the start of a new post.
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Mike was a really terrific guy, and a good dad. The photo of him with his children is full of love. His life was cut way too soon, but his spirit lives on in all of us who knew him. The last part of the post was so real, and sad, and beautiful.
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Powerful stuff. I believe that we find our greatest strength in pain. I hope she finds peace, and that her heart continues to overflow with love.
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Thanks, Emily. I’ll pass on your wishes to Naomi!
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so bitter sweet.
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death is so beautiful that one can enjoy only once in life!
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Death is beautiful. Nice to look at it that way.
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[…] more about Naomi: Life or Death, 1 , Life or Death, 2 and Life or Death, 3, as well as the series about her Dad – Lou Levine: Senior […]
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